I was once asked ''What is worth dying for?'' I had many answers such as Jesus, my faith, my family, my friends, and people in my life I care about. One thing that really made me think was two of my closest friends, Taylor and Alli. So I asked myself "Gracie would you really die for these two?'' ''Why are they worth it?'' I really thought about it, and many reasons came to mind.
Taylor and Alli are the two people in my life who understand me the most. They came back into my life even when I was a terrible friend to them. Our beautiful friendship essentially began freshman year of high school, and it was so strong and solid. I was close with Alli then grew closer to Taylor through Alli and I's friendship. Sophomore year we hit a bump. We drifted apart. This was hard, and it really hurt me, but I pretended like it didn't and hung out with new people. These new people were not necessarily good people to be around. I didn't know it at the time because I was so blindsided. I lost all communication with Alli while I still talked to Taylor every now and then at school. Alli and I didn't get along at all, and I'll admit it, it was all stupid and petty. Nothing was worth losing a friend over. Not to mention my best friend I once did everything in life with. In the time period that we weren't friends, we were going through all of the same situations and dealing with the same issues. We both had no idea. For a whole year we were completely separated from each other. At times I would breakdown looking at old pictures of us or watching old videos we use to make. I missed them so much. I always wondered if my name ever crossed their minds. Do they miss everything we had? Do they miss spending every second of life together like I do? We would pass each other in the halls like we were strangers all over again. It hurt so much because I walk by thinking "It's like I don't even know you. It's like I never met you, yet you know everything about me, and I know everything about you.'' This felt worse than any breakup you could ever go through. Losing your best friends is a whole different type of heartbreak. It feels like you lost a part of yourself too.
Fast forward to the summer after sophomore year, I was on my way home from the beach. I remember just breaking down into tears thinking of how alone I am going to feel this next school year. I was still friends with some of those ''new people.'' I remember thinking, "Why do I feel so alone when I am surrounded by so many people." The reality is you can be in a full crowd and still feel like the loneliest person in the world, and you can be in a room with one other person and feel anything but alone. That's what I came to realize at the end of this summer. Then, junior year comes around. After being a terrible friend to them, they gave me a second chance. I reevaluated the people in my life. I began to invest in people who invested in me as well. Taylor and Alli became my best friends again. It was like we were reliving old times, and all the lonely feelings and worries disappeared. Now, I spend all my time with them, like once before. They make me laugh so hard until I can barely breathe. They hold me while I'm crying my eyes out. They tell me when I'm making stupid decisions, even when I don't listen to them. To all the driving around together, jam sessions in the bathroom, starbucks runs, to almost dying in the car together, and everything, I can't picture life without them ever again. If they didn't give me another chance I don't know where my life would be, or what I would feel like. I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't have my Taylor Riley and Allison Faye. They are my world as cheesy as that is. They were not in my life for a whole year, and I regret that year so much, but you live and you learn. I'll never understand why we were all three separated from each other for an entire year, and somehow found our way back together. I guess you really do always find your way back to the people that are meant to be in your life. I hope and I pray I never lose them again. My life is so much better with them in it. After all of this, I know they are so worth dying for. Overall I believe there is nothing worth living for if there is nothing worth dying for.
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